its not stalking. its research.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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