New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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