Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
