Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
