Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
