We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
