You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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