Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
