are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
