They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
