would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
