Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
