Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
