are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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