So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
