I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
