I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
