Cold hands, warm shart.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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