Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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