where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
