now i know why i became what i already was.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
