i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
