is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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