he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
