I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
