Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
