I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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