I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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