Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
