I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
