Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He better not be in your backpack
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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