alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
