You really coming over, don't trick.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Randomize
