He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
