in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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