Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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