I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
