I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
