physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
