Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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