threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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