Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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