just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
