i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
