lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
