Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
