Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
