So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
