Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
