Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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