don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
