my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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