Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
